Oh, my Spanx. This love of mine,
That keeps my belly flap in line.
A marvel of science, so true, so fair,
You have replaced my underwear.
In you my gut I cinch and stuff,
with you I can feel thin enough.
I have 3 pairs, black, tan, and white,
that help me feel small and tight.
You give me wedgies, yes, it's true,
and pinch my flab and stomach too.
My camel toe, on you I blame,
I have to dig you out, with shame.
My inner organs you rearrange,
and people seem to find it strange,
when I unroll and pull you up,
and tuck you under my large bra cup.
I'll take a shower and put you on,
though the struggle always goes so long.
Since if I put you on while I am wet,
I end up tired and out of breath.
Come to think of it, I see,
you really aren't that good for me.
So I'll say so long to you right here,
and go back to my underwear.