At Times Like This, You Need Chocolate. Or Pizza.

Ever have those weeks where you want to bury your head in the sand? Literally? Just to see what would happen? Knowing me I'd probably surface with some rare form of mold that eats all your hair. Anyway - I've just had one of those weeks.

Since I'm addicted to lists and firmly believe list posts are easier to read, let me list you my crappy week.

1. I'm addicted to food. I know it, you know it, the world knows it. My taste buds just refuse to listen. I wish I could just numb my tongue for a month and be done with it. remember when people used to wire their jaws shut and drink liquid for x amount of time? Yeah, I'd do that. then I'd probably break all my teeth trying to get to the Halloween candy. Such is life.

I really would do this to lose a few pounds...

2. Saturday morning at 1 am my neighbors were having a drunken idiot fest party across the street. I went to go get Wendy's (refer to item number one for why in god's name I left my house at 1 am for FOOD.) The rejects across the street saw me leave, saw me come back. Someone else (read: not me.) called the police on their loudness. Twice. Then at 3am, one of the drunk diptards walks up to my house, opens my screen door, and tries to open my door. Twice. Without knocking or anything. I thought someone was ready to add a new ventilation system to my forehead by way of the gun - so I creep to the side of the door and watch the jackwad go back to party central. I had never been so scared in my entire life. I run upstairs, wake up my ex-marine husband (just saying that makes me feel better...) and call the cops. Not 5 minutes later they come screeching up my street and start hollering at all the party animals. Hollering. Loudly. Hooray for police brutality. I'm all for it at this point - I wanted one of them to beat someone up. I was pissed. Anyway, party breaks up, I can't do anything about the pseudo break in because I didn't know which moron to point the finger at. Shame. The police and the retards left and I was up till 5 am trying to not have a heart attack from fear.

I felt like this was going to happen and I was going to die. Or be beat to a pulp.

3. Sunday morning, at 6 am , I am taking my brother to the hospital. He has kidney stones. Lots of 'em. I woke up, after about a half hour of sleep (because my husband snores. loudly. In stereo.) and crawl in the passenger's side of my car because frost has frosted my door super shut. After about 20 minutes of thawing we're on our way, and I'm thinking - "I hope I don't do anything stupid, because I'm really tired. My normal superhero-esque reactions are not up to par this evening night morning."  Five minutes later I run over a dead deer in the middle of the highway going 70 mph because I'm trying to get my poor brother to the hospital asap. A big dead deer. In my little 96 Honda Civic. I get to the ER, my engine is smoking, and I have a panic attack while trying to check my brother in and be there for him. My family is all sleeping, I have no one to call and I look like a moron in streaky left over mascara from the night before. To add to the fun and games, I hurt my shoulder and back muscles. Which I had to deal with for 6 hours while the moron doctors decided my brother had kidney stones. Um - to quote a favorite cartoon, "you just earned your - Uh, Der - badge."

ALL OF YOU.

So life is.....

I don't know. My car is in the shop, I'm broke, and I'm afraid of my neighbors. I'm not really complaining, mind you , I'm just in shock. Fortunately I have Xanax and Codene to cope for the week. And I ordered a pizza. Veggie Lovers from Pizza Hut.

Don't judge me.

I'm Really Here

I'm here, I'm really still here.

As most of you know - I've been a little broke. Ok, a little is not the correct term, but whatever. I'm broke. So on the grand list of things not so important - or more accurately, bills we don't exactly need to pay because we can live without it - was my Time Warner rip off bill. And so I had no Internet for a bit. Then my brother generously let me piggyback on his wireless connection, but it took a while to figure it out.

And the homeschooling thing is really taking a lot out of me. In a good way. I homeschool for about 5 hours a day. I have to really be on top of this because:

a. I can't let my son's education go down the drain. I had many reasons for homeschooling, and one of them was to help him catch up where the public school has failed me. So I homeschool a lot. A lot.

b. Here in New York he has to have a standardized test. So if I suck at this - the universe will know. And he'll be forced to go back to school.

Just to clarify - I don't have an issue with public schools. I have issues with a string of bad teachers combined with a string of overworked teachers. I also have issues with bullying, 8 years olds talking about having sex, and bus drivers that holler at my kid. Those things, along with the fact that my son's father (my ex-husband) committed suicide last May...well. Yeah.

I am still here. Promise. But I have to cut back my posting time a little. Think I'll commit to 2 times a week, and one day a week for making blog rounds and commenting. That's a minimum, so if I'm up to doing more - I will.

Thanks for stickin' around....see you later.

Ode To My Spanx

An Oldie but Goodie of mine:


Oh, my Spanx. This love of mine, 

That keeps my belly flap in line. 

A marvel of science, so true, so fair, 

You have replaced my underwear.

In you my gut I cinch and stuff, 

with you I can feel thin enough.

I have 3 pairs, black, tan, and white,

that help me feel small and tight.

You give me wedgies, yes, it's true, 

and pinch my flab and stomach too.

My camel toe, on you I blame, 

I have to dig you out, with shame.

My inner organs you rearrange, 

and people seem to find it strange, 

when I unroll and pull you up, 

and tuck you under my large bra cup.

I'll take a shower and put you on, 

though the struggle always goes so long.

Since if I put you on while I am wet,

I end up tired and out of breath.

Come to think of it, I see, 

you really aren't that good for me.

So I'll say so long to you right here, 

and go back to my underwear.

Help Me!

It is almost 8 a.m. and I am:

1. Officially awake for the day.

and

2. Rested up because I actually slept. At night.

This is a good thing. I have been staying up all night and sleeping most of the day. Or staying up all night and well into the day - then sleeping from noon to 10pm. Rinse and repeat.

I am very anxious to get back on the good girl track - eating right, starting an exercise routine, all that jazz.

I have no plan. Yet. I'm not quite sure where to start. I live a completely sedentary life. I am an official couch potato. I love to blog, watch TV and play video games. I'm thinking of going with the whole watch some TV while I work out thing. Or a different work out a day. What do you think? I could really, really use some help. So if you have a good piece of advice, or a workout routine, or some great links to share - please do.

What's a good way for a 300lb. gal to start working out without killing her self?
Is there a good (free) program anyone knows of?
How do you eat healthy - and keep it cheap?
What's a good way to avoid/curb cravings (esp. for sugar!)

Let me add a side note - since it explains my reason for starting again. This past May, my son's biological father (my ex-husband) killed himself. I suddenly found that I was that parent - the one who has to tell their child that their father is dead. It was the single hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. My 10 year old son is an old soul. He asked me that day if I would die next. Over the last few months, I have found my self thinking that I could quite possibly die next - if I didn't get my health under control. I need to get my health under control. I am a 33 year old walking time bomb. I can't let my son be an orphan.


So that is why I'm asking for help. I have to get serious, so any advice is truly welcome! Leave me a comment, large or small, so I have much advice to choose from. Thanks in advance!

Flooding

So sorry about the lack of posting. I've been busy watching all the flooding. I live near Binghamton, NY. I'm basically stranded and confined to my area. My highway is closed, before and after my town exits. The place where my husband works is almost completely under water, and he can't  get to his school either. It's been crazy here.

So I've been in my house, couldn't go anywhere today. I'm going to attempt to go to a 24 hour store and see what I can find. That's one way to diet - get stuck in your house with little to no food!!!

So that's the sitch. I'll keep you posted and put up some pics later.

Maggie Goes On A Diet

I saw an article on Yahoo news last week. It's about a new children's book, called - yep, you guessed it - Maggie Goes On A Diet.

The book summary, from Amazon.com, says,

"Maggie has so much potential that has been hiding under her extra weight. This inspiring story is about a 14-year-old who goes on a diet and is transformed from being overweight and insecure to a normal sized teen who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self-image."

There's enough in the description alone to bug me. Kids going on "diets"? Teenagers aspiring to be "normal sized"? Come on. Can anyone tell me what a "normal" teenager is?

You know what though - I could handle that. Not the best choice of wording, but it's tolerable. What ticks me off the most is the reason for the weight loss.

According to the book:

"Maggie was teased and made fun of just about every day at school, she was called fatty and chubby and other names that were very cruel."
"Searching the refrigerator in hopes she would feel better, eating lots of bread and cheeses including some cheddar."

So Maggie decides to eat better, exercise and lose weight. All of a sudden, now that Maggie is "normal", kids like her and she has friends.

"Maggie looked forward to her Saturday morning game, more and more people were beginning to know Maggie by name. Playing soccer gave Maggie popularity and fame."

Oh, really? Is that all it takes to make friends and.......wait a second. Are we really ready to teach kids that being "normal" and skinny is the only way to make friends? Do we want them to think that we should give in to bullying - changing so much that the bullies stop bullying? Do we want to give our children self confidence issues?

It makes me slightly sick.

What do you think?

Longest Week

I meant to post this last Tuesday, but it's been a long, sad week.

My cousin, Nicole passed away Thursday, Feb. 24th. She was only 29 years old, and leaves behind a husband and four young children, ages 5 to 12. She had had breast cancer, and had a double masectomy to get rid of it. She was in remission for a while, but the cancer came back - agressively and eventually spread to her whole body. She fell a few weeks ago and collapsed her lung. Because the cancer had spread so far, she was unable to recover. Although her death wasn't unexpected, the whole process happened rather fast and has left me and my family rather upset. She was her mothers only child, and I can't even begin to understand what my Aunt is going through right now. It's a hard situation to deal with all around. Her funeral was Tuesday morning, hence the no posting.

On top of all that, my whole family has been sick for a week. We had strep and me and my son also got impetigo. How thrilling for us all. We spent a week in the house, doing the best we could for my cousin and her family.

So, that's what's been going on. Needless to say, I have not been paying attention to what I eat. if anything, I've been indulging in comfort food. I'll see you all again soon, hopefully in a better mood.

I'm Still Here

I'm here, I'm alive, I promise!!

Life has just been pelting me with...well, with everything. My son is sick, think I'm getting sick, have had friends coming over to spend the weekend, have to clean my house...

So, you get the picture. I plan on continuing to write, when life calms down, except life never does. So I'm committing now to try and post every Tuesday. Why tuesday? Dunno..just sounds like a good day to post.

Anyhoo....

There you have it.

On Sleep, The Lack Thereof, and being a Good Girl.

I always have the best ideas for a post.

In the middle of the night.

I'll be half asleep, and pop awake with a gem of a post idea. I will tell myself to remember it, repeat it to myself 15 times, and then promptly forget about it as soon as I fall back asleep. When I wake up in the morning - I'm left with this vague feeling that I did something awesome yesterday, but I just can't quite grasp what it was.

And when I sit down to the keyboard and try to post something - I draw a huge fat blank. Usually I give up and write nothing. (Hence my month - (months?) - long absences)

But, I'm trying to post regularly, and I'm trying to get back on track.

Back on track. Hah. If I could find a way to type out 'snort and chuckle' on the computer, I would.

It's not that I don't try, I really do. I went out a few days ago for a food run, and got myself the Good Girl Subway Sub.

(i.e. Roast chicken on wheat, no cheese, all green veggies, hold the mayo and substitute mustard please.)

And then yesterday, I go out with my sister and manage to scarf 3 Jr. bacons and a large Chili with cheese. Yum! I mean, Bad Flabby McGee, BAD. Not to mention I can't seem to get near a gym. Although - to be fair - I'm sure there's an anti fat chick force field around the whole thing, repelling us chubbies by the dozens.

(I was looking for a picture of a cheeseburger - but they all made me hungry. So I stopped torturing myself.)

Still. I can't give up. I'd like to, but I can't. So I'm going to try again. Right now. I went shopping for all my Good Girl foods and I'm currently starving. I forgot to eat again.

Back Again

So, looking back at my blog - I apparently fell off the face of the earth. I don't know why I do that, just disappear for months on end. I guess my only excuse is lack of inspiration. I always feel like every thing I write should be witty and intelligent, and I don't always feel witty or intelligent. But I digress.

I woke up this morning at 5am, and after snarfing 4 scrambled eggs and 4 pieces of toast, I found a list of successful weight loss blogs on yahoo. I paused for a moment and thought "Holy Crap. I used to have a weight loss blog. Wonder what happened to it? Is it still there, do people still love me?" Lo and behold here I am, with a flash of inspiration to boot. Whoda thunkit.

Where am I at? Well, I'm not at the gym, cuz I'm all Flabby McGee again with a whopping 319 pounds. I make myself sad. But I have decided to stop whining and moaning about it all and suck it up. I may mess up over and over (and over and over) but I'm gonna pick myself back up one more time and work on the whole getting healthy thing.

Well, here I am. Trying. Again. And in typical Flabby fashion, we'll just have to see how this all works out. Resetting the weight counter, and getting off my duff now. See ya later.

Coversations With Myself

Me:  I'm hungry.

Inner Evil Self: Yeah, there's cake in the kitchen you know.

Me: Yes, I'm perfectly aware - you fat idiot pig. Shut up and let me sleep.

Inner Evil Self: It has roses. Big flower roses.

Me: Oh, no really? You think? I'm trying to lose weight here, and all you want to do is eat.  Mainly sugar.

Inner Evil Self: So eat cheese. Cheese is good.

Me: Not helping. My butt itches. And I need to sleep.

Inner Evil Self: You sleep better after you eat, ya know.

Me: Liar. And my butt still itches. So either help me out with that or shut the heck up.

Inner Evil Self: Ha! You can't reach your butt. So deal. We have cheese in the kitchen too.

Me: What is with you? can't you just help me out for once?? That would be nice - or shocking, take your pick.

Inner Evil Self: What fun would that be? OMG - Adam Lambert is on MTV.

Me: Kill me now. Did you just Oh-Em-Gee me?

Inner Evil Self: I'm trying but you won't let me. Big frosting roses, one's pink.

Me: I hate pink.

Inner Evil Self: Then the other one's yellow.

Me: I don't like yellow either, so there.

Inner Evil Self: You know you act like a child when you're hungry?

Me: So I've been told. Adam Lambert wears too much makeup and his music sucks.

Inner Evil Self: So do his videos, but that's not what we were talking about. Cake. You have cake. It even has your name on it.

Me: I hate you.

Inner Evil Self: Oh. No. My. Feelings. Are. So. Hurt.

Me: I'm tired. And I wish this song would end. What in the world happened to MTV?

Inner Evil Self: Talk shows, reality TV and Adam Lambert. CAKE.

Me: Oh yeah. NO. No cake.

Inner Evil Self: At least go lick the frosting off the edge of the plate. It'll be fun, I promise.

Me: You are the devil.

Inner Evil Self: Nah, he's busy  helping Adam Lambert write music.

Me: Huh. I guess. I'd go to sleep but I itch.

Inner Evil Self: Eat Cake.

Me: Fine.

Inner Evil Self: YES!

Me: Just kidding. Gotcha!

Inner Evil Self: You suck.

Me: Now you know how it feels. I'm going to bed.





This is what happens when you're still up at 5am.

Electric Bills and Exercise

I'm so tired I need to prop up my eyelids with toothpicks. Or Q tips, but I don't think my eyelids will stretch that far. I would ingest some caffeine, but that doesn't really work for me. What I will probably do is go play video games all night until it's a proper time to go to sleep.

 Like, midnight. Or 2am. If I make it that far.

I had to pay my electric bill this morning, so I wouldn't get shut off. Technically I had to pay it Friday, so I called the robbers company, and found out that they don't do shutoffs Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Or holidays. Or the day before or the day after a holiday. You think with all I pay them they could afford to send people out everyday. Anyway - I thought, 'hey, let's pay them online this weekend!'.

Dumb Idea. I was going to use my brothers card - because it was his money we were using (we still have none) and too late, I realized you have to attach the whole bank account to the electric account. Not happening. Then I thought we'd pay over the phone. Not open. Jeez.

So I stayed up all night and drove over there and paid it this morning at the crack of dawn. Eight o'clock in the morning to be precise. Life is just dandy.

So, I'm tired and I really should go to the gym. But there's no way - I would fall off of the elliptical so fast you'd need a high speed camera to catch it. I have been doing horrible on my 'diet'. I had 2 peices of frosting covered brownies yesterday. And that's just yesterday. The last few weeks have been a joke. Chips, cheese, meat, food and more food and junk and sugar. Yeah. That kind of eating. So, the plan is to head back to the gym this week - but I gotta do it before my husband goes to work at 3 pm.

We'll see. Wish me luck!

My Fun Summer. Kinda.

I am here. I am still breathing. And yes, I am still blogging.

I spent about 2 weeks in bed - quite literally - with bronchitis. Not fun. Vicks, vaporizers, cough drops...I think my tongue is permanently red from cough drops. If I never see another cherry anything, I will be a Happy Flabby. Ugh.

So now, although I am still coughing, it's time to get back up on the horse. 2 weeks with no gym can make you ...well - flabby. I dread the thought of getting back up on that elliptical, and the treadmill. Funnily enough though, I can feel my body slowly reverting back to what it was before I started exercising. I get more headaches, and I'm lazier and I don't sleep right. I've been going to bed at 5am and waking up at 12 or 2pm. I feel sucky. Really sucky. Plus I've been eating whatever I want, when I want. It started as - "oh, my throat hurts - ice cream it is!" and now it's like "Gimme the chocolate now, dummy!" I have woken the sleeping hunger beast. I thought I had whooped it but I guess I just lulled it to sleep for a while. In all honesty- it'll be there forever I think.

I learned something new today.

I like to sweat. If I do something, household chores, running, playing, whatever, and I sweat while doing it - I feel good! If I don't I feel like I didn't accomplish much. New gym mentality perhaps? I like it.

Life has been crazy this summer. We were a little financially strapped to begin with, and then we found out a few weeks ago that we were in the 'extended unemplyment' bracket - so our unemployment was totally cut off. The sole income on the house has been  my weekly child support payments from the Nasty Ex. A whopping $15 a week has kept us in toilet paper and shampoo. Yay. But things are looking up, we got food stamps (so we wouldn't starve) and my hubby got a job! It actually starts today! It's a temp job - but that's all we need, our income goes back up as soon as he's in college again. GI Bill and all that. I'm done being sick and I plan on enjoying a fun summer with my son.

Cuz we gots us a slip and slide.

Yes!!!!!!

I Refuse To Blog About Houseplants

Once again, I was inspired. I don't know what I'm going to do when I run out of inspiration. Probably spend my days posting about how well my houseplants are doing.

"and today...my windowsill houseplant had 2 brown leaves. Oh no! Whatever shall I do? I've watered, and watered..but it's not exactly my fault that it's been raining for a week straight, and there's no sun. Do I have to import artificial sunlight....because..."

Yeah. No. Good thing you all inspire me. Today's inspiration comes from my real life best friend, Crystal @ The Purpose Driven Journey. She wrote a post called 7 Things I Don't Have. At first I thought....'ok, that's rather negative..", but then I read on.

You'll see - here's my 7 things:

1. I don't have 13 extra pounds. Cuz they're gone now!

2. I don't have smallpox. For which I am very grateful.

3. I don't have a cardboard box for a house. Good thing, because cardboard boxes don't have Internet hookups.

4. I don't have a selfish husband. Or a cheating one. Or one that hits me.

5. I don't have mountains of debt. I have some, but it's like a small hill of debt, not a mountain.

6. I don't have a migraine. Not today, Thank God.

7. I don't have bedbugs. Not anymore.

See? It's like being positive in reverse. Rather interesting to think that way. Especially because I've been sick for a week straight, and am coughing like crazy. But I still have a lot of good in my life. I do need to get back to the gym soon, but all in good time. I need to get better first. And I've been eating well, so that's one thing I can do at the moment!

Well, I'll leave you all with a thought -What 7 things don't you have?

No More Giant Marshmallow!

I was reading a post by Kristina at Off The Couch, and I got to thinking. I know you're thinking - uh-oh! - but it's a good think.

When I got married I was a giant white marshmallow. Really, I was. I loved my wedding with all my heart, and I absolutely adored my dress. But my only regret was that I hadn't had enough oomph to get my butt up and lose weight.

loved my dress :)

I've had a crazy.....oh, let's say a crazy last decade or so. I've been through a lot. You can read some of it on My Story page, but it's not all listed there. As Inigo Montoya says, "let me esplain - no, there is no time, let me sum up"

I was married to a bi-polar alcoholic who used to hit me some and ridicule me more. One day before our 2nd anniversary, he left me - while I was gone all day  - and I came home to an empty house and 2 months of debt without a job. I got a job, did some stupid stuff - which included a night out that ended with me getting my stomach pumped - and was well on my way to making some bad life decisions. I met my current husband on Myspace - he emailed me and was the only guy who wanted to know me, not just hop into my pants. So I answered him, met him a month later - after many emails - and I knew the day I met him that I had found the love of my life, and I would marry this man. I saw it as God giving me a choice - shape up and have a great life, or party on and end up dead. I chose the man and the marriage and no more partying. It was a wise decision.

My favorite wedding picture.

My husband is the best, most supportive, wonderful man in the entire earth. He has changed my life, my son's life, and even my family's life. I could go on for days about him - he is not just my world, he's my universe. And my best friend.

Best Friends

So, back to the wedding - I have a plan. This was a secret plan - something I didn't want to even admit to myself, because I thought it was silly and foolish. (In case you hadn't noticed - I'm not a typical kind of girl.....) But now I see that it's a great plan - and I'm going ahead with it.

I want to get to my goal weight of 150 pounds, and resize my wedding dress. I then want to renew my vows - and have the "wedding" of my dreams - the secret dreams where I'm all skinny and sexy walking down the aisle.

It's gonna take a few years, but there it is. My plan to erase the single regret I have of my wedding day - the fact that I looked like a marshmallow. A pretty marshmallow with an awesome dress - but a marshmallow nonetheless.

meh.

And I don't really like marshmallows.

Unsexy?

I just read a great blog post over at Journey Beyond Survival. And it got me thinking -

I feel so unsexy. Most of the time, I feel lumpy and unattractive. I wander around the house in pj's, t-shirts, and stretch pants. I don't wear make-up. Not even to go out. I don't wear heels or fancy shoes of any kind, and I've even lost interest in switching purses to match my outfits. (gasp!)

Now, I used to be a sexy beast. Really - I was. I went from 305 pounds to 220 in one year. I felt amazing, looked amazing and knew it. I was a sexy beast. Rawr.

What happened to her? Well, she gained all that weight back, plus a few pounds. Gradually, over the last 2-3 years, I have packed on the pounds, and lost my interest in being good looking. I don't put lotion on my dry skin, don't wash my face, and I can barely muster up the strength to shave my legs. I'm beginning to think that I think that I don't deserve to be sexy. That fat must not be beautiful. That overweight people don't deserve to look good.

Screw that. I'm still hot. I still have an amazing rack, gorgeous eyes, and a beautiful face. My husband still wants to make love to me - so he must think I'm still good looking. Screw the world and their preconceived notions of what beauty is. I'm so sorry I don't have the body of an anorexic 12 year old - and I truly hope I never do. Bite me, Mary Kate Olsen.

I'm going on a date tonight. I'm dressing up. I'm shaving my legs and wearing the red lipstick my husband likes me to wear. And I'm gonna shake it like jello. You don't like it - close your eyes.

I'm back.

Who Cares?

I've been thinking a lot lately. 

I've realized that I think too much about what other people think. I'm learning not to - but I still freak out about what others think. Here's some of my thought processes:

If I wear high heels I think - "Are people going to think I'm stupid for wearing heels? Am I too fat to wear heels?"

If I put candy in my grocery cart I think - "Who's watching? Are they laughing?"

If I run I think - "Who's waiting for me to get a black eye? Are they watching?"

If I play in the park with my son I think - "Who's waiting for the swings to break?"

So I got to thinking about what everyone else thinks. And I see that I need to not care. (still following me?) There have been a lot of people who don't care what people think. 

Like this:

What if Michael Jackson was too afraid to introduce the idea of a concept music video?

 We wouldn't have Thriller.

What if George Lucas was unsure of his intergalactic space stories?

No Star Wars.

What if John Lennon hadn't been confident enough to start a band?

There would have been no Beatles.

These people changed our worlds. Our Music. Our Movies. We wouldn't be who we are today if it wasn't for them. So I have to ask myself - what can I change simply by being who I really am? Lady GaGa is dresses like an escaped lunatic, Marilyn Monroe looked like a floozy most of the time, and Elvis wore white jumpsuits and curled his lip. 

They didn't care. Why should I?

I'm Tired

I'm so tired.

Tired of not eating cake.

So I ate some.

Tired of not eating chocolate.

So I ate some.

Tired of not drinking soda.

So I drank some.

Tired of getting up and going to the gym.

So I didn't go.

Tired of worrying about what I eat.

So I ate everything I could.

And now I'm sick. And tired. Now I'm tired of being lazy. And I'm tired of not focusing, and I'm tired of not having any self control. I'm tired of being a bum. And I'm tired of being fat.

My mother always told me - Change only comes when the pain of staying the same is more then the pain of change. Looks like she was right.

Yeah, I'm tired of that too.

Quick Note

Just a quick note to say I'll be back Tuesday - been a long week and a longer weekend. I need some R&R.  I know I post a lot, but I need me a break. So I'll see you all later!

Blog Award Buffet

Ok, Yesterday I counted up my grand tally of awards and found that I had - drum roll please -

4

Yeah, 4. That's a lot all at once. Contrary to what some may think at this point in the post - I am not tooting my own horn, as the saying goes. I am merely trying to give credit and thanks to where it is due. Along with passing them on, and fulfilling all requirements.

So here's the plan. I am going to list all 4 awards, where they came from, how grateful I am for them, and the things you need to do when accepting said award. Then I am going to pick 7 bloggers to pass them onto, and those bloggers can come here and choose which award they want. Sorta like a Choose Your Own Adventure Buffet. I'd love to do them all individually, but I don't have that kind of time. Whew - Ok, let's get going.

1.) I got this Sunshine Award from Sylvia at Big Steps 2 Take. Sylvia cracks me up - plus I love her blog layout. There are no acceptance conditions - Just post and pass it on.

2.) Then I got the Beautiful Blogger award from Blue at The Missing Piece. Blue is awesome, her comments make me feel very cared about! So, if you pick this one you have to list 7 things about yourself that people don't know, and pass it on to 7 other bloggers.

 3.) I also got the Beautiful Blogger Award from Brandi at La Vida Subida. She gave me a great compliment when listing  me as recipient, I was touched to see that she can relate to me. Who knew? Anyway, same conditions as the one above - I'm really posting this so I can give a proper thank you to Brandi!

4.) Then Karen over at muffin fixation gave me the Oh My Blog! award! She's another totally awesome blogger that seems to like me, and asked for my Jack Sh*t widget. It's amazing the connections you make with perfect strangers! I love the blogoshpere. I really do. So anywho,the rules are:

1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER!
2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award:
(a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus.
(b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.
(c) Write a “Soundtrack of your childhood” post.
(d) Make your next blog a ‘vlog’/video blog. Basically, you’re talking to the camera about whatever.
(e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning, before you do anything else (hair, makeup, etc) and post it.
3. Pass this award onto at least 3, but preferably more, awesome bloggers as yourself. Don’t forget to tell them.

 And no, I didn't forget to fulfill my requirements.

My choices for passing this on are - in no particular order -

1. Smasher Girl @ Smasher Girl - always so encouraging!
2. Buzzy & Breezelys Mama @ The Fat Chick Weigh - This woman amazes me, since the first moment of reading her blog - I felt like if I lived in her area we'd have been best friends for years.
3. Lianna @ Welcome To ObeCity - My heart goes out to her, she's dealing with some stuff, and trying to lose weight. Hop on over and give her pick me up!
4. Dagny @ what needs to be done now? - a very strong lady, who's not afraid to speak her mind! I love it!
5. Mrs. Happy Pants @ Mrs. Happy Pants - her name rocks, and so does her humor.
6. Happy Fun Pants @ Smaller Fun Pants - Cuz she's such a pleasure to read! So easy, so humorous, so identifiable! Or maybe I just have a thing about names with "pants" in them....
7. Last but not least, Journey Beyond Survival. Her amazing blog post on the impossible - I don't even have words to express how truly inspiring it was. I have it bookmarked.

And here's my list of -
7 Things about myself that no one knows?  Here goes....


1. I have to have everything symmetrical. All the knick-knacks on my dresser, the stuff on the dashboard of my car. Even my computer screen icons have to be symmetrical and in order.

2. I can't suck on a piece of hard candy, or a lollipop. I end up chewing it up. It never fails.

3. I like The Sims video games. But only because I get to put in the cheat code, give myself millions of simoleans, and build the dream houses I know I will never have in real life. I don't really care if all the Sims I make pee on themselves. I just look at the houses.

4. I like Rainbow Brite. When I was a child, I wanted that magic bag of sparkles that put color on everything. I also wanted a white horse that could walk on rainbows.

5. I have this terrible urge to dye my hair again. Maybe red this time...except I look like crap with red hair.

6. I adore word games. I read all the time, own over 500 books....so I like to test my knowledge.

7. I'm pregnant.

      Ok, not really...but that's the kind of information you were REALLY looking for, isn't it?



So there you have it. I will post a picture of myself first thing in the morning, tomorrow - first thing in the morning. So see ya then...