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6/11/10

Unsexy?

I just read a great blog post over at Journey Beyond Survival. And it got me thinking -

I feel so unsexy. Most of the time, I feel lumpy and unattractive. I wander around the house in pj's, t-shirts, and stretch pants. I don't wear make-up. Not even to go out. I don't wear heels or fancy shoes of any kind, and I've even lost interest in switching purses to match my outfits. (gasp!)

Now, I used to be a sexy beast. Really - I was. I went from 305 pounds to 220 in one year. I felt amazing, looked amazing and knew it. I was a sexy beast. Rawr.

What happened to her? Well, she gained all that weight back, plus a few pounds. Gradually, over the last 2-3 years, I have packed on the pounds, and lost my interest in being good looking. I don't put lotion on my dry skin, don't wash my face, and I can barely muster up the strength to shave my legs. I'm beginning to think that I think that I don't deserve to be sexy. That fat must not be beautiful. That overweight people don't deserve to look good.

Screw that. I'm still hot. I still have an amazing rack, gorgeous eyes, and a beautiful face. My husband still wants to make love to me - so he must think I'm still good looking. Screw the world and their preconceived notions of what beauty is. I'm so sorry I don't have the body of an anorexic 12 year old - and I truly hope I never do. Bite me, Mary Kate Olsen.

I'm going on a date tonight. I'm dressing up. I'm shaving my legs and wearing the red lipstick my husband likes me to wear. And I'm gonna shake it like jello. You don't like it - close your eyes.

I'm back.

21 comments:

Michelle said...

Well said. Enjoy your night out. 99% of beauty is in how we look at ourselves, sounds like you've got the right idea!

Lesia said...

OMG I love it! You go get er done girlfriend! Great words for sure!

Happy Fun Pants said...

Woowee!

You are QUITE the hot n' sexy mama! And no matter how you look (now or later) you STILL deserve to be loved and beautiful.

Shake it.

Shake it like a polaroid picture. :)

SG said...

hahhhahaha! love it!

Tricia said...

LOVE IT!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

You go girl!!! You are beautiful, inside and out. The world's view of beauty has been distorted for a long time. Real, down to earth people see the beauty in each other and themselves... just like you do!!! I love your determination! Seize the day girl!!

~Margene

http://www.believingitspossible.blogspot.com/

brandi said...

You are AWESOME! I hope some of that rubs off on me! :)

Karen said...

I love it! And I soooo don't put lotion on my dry skin or shave often enough. Have fun:)

Crystal Roberts said...

Love it love it, you GO girl! Have fun on your date!

Tricia said...

I thoroughly plan on rockin' the mic tonite at karaoke, fat rolls and all! I'm with you, McGee! Get your SWERVE ON :P

Dazee Dreamer said...

I am soooo proud of you. If you can love yourself, it won't matter what other people think. They don't matter. That's not to say you will have a "bad hair day", but you are worth it!!!!!!!!

Natalia said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, it!!!! Have a great time!

MB said...

WOOOHOOO! You look amazing with or without make-up. 305 or 220 doesn't matter as long as you rock that red lipstick.

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

I hope you got your saxy on lady!!!

Arcticmal said...

Awesome attitude!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!! Great!! WOOHOOO!!! I really can't say anything else!!! I am trying to develop that sense of myself.. it is a long hard battle as it is easier to not... but again I am trying every day!!

Have a wonderful date!!!!!

4athomej said...

YAY!!!! Have a great night...

P.S. I live in yoga pants 99% of the time :(

Anonymous said...

Bite Me MKO = ROTFLMAO!!!

You so totally rock, Ms. McGee.

Just keep at it.

Anonymous said...

I don't like it.

I LOVE it!

Melissa said...

Good for you! I struggle with those very same feelings for the very same reasons! Several years ago I lost 140 pounds, but I ended up putting about 80-90 pounds of it back on again. I'm back on track trying to get it off again, but I still struggle so much with feeling like I'm not sexy any longer and just end up wearing frumpy potato sack clothes hoping to hide. Thanks for the wake-up call that I need to embrace my inner sexy!!

Lori said...

You rock it girl! You do have beautiful eyes and with or without makeup you're sexy!

Anonymous said...

You're such a hotass!