Flabby Goes To The Hospital

Ok, so some of you have already read about my very long week.

Tuesday night (or Wednesday morning?) I went to bed at 5am. I couldn't sleep - I've been hacking up a lung. Not a pleasant experience. My brother wakes me up at 7:30 and tells me he has to go to the hospital. Now, my brother would never wake me up unless he's next to dying in pain, so I got up and we went to the ER.

Everyone was awesome. Almost unbelievable, I know, but the nurses got me coffee, they talked to us, the doctors were actually friendly, and they were kind to both of us. I was very impressed. They admitted my brother, he was passing a kidney stone - one from each kidney. So I spent the night with him. Now, I had thrown on my nasty, dirty gym clothes that I hadn't washed - so I ended up spending the day in them. By that evening - I had broken out in a skin rash (I guess I have sensitive skin) and was miserable. I had also gotten my period that morning while waiting in the ER. Great day.

I'm in pain, itching, dirty and starving - and I finally managed to fall asleep at 3AM. My brother had been passed out - thanks to the morphine they gave him - and I had been tiptoeing around all night, trying to be quiet while scratching myself to death. Of course the nurses had to check vitals at 5 AM, so that was all the sleep I got. I decided to go home and shower and change and then go back to the hospital - my brother was going to have to have surgery to remove the stones. I pried my eyelids open and drove home - and sure enough, as I walk in the door, my brother calls me and tells me he passes one of the stones and they were releasing him. No surgery. That was actually good news, so I threw on some clean clothes (minus the shower) and went back. We then proceeded to wait for 2 hours before he was finally released. I could have had my shower after all.

Later that evening, after a shower and a nap, I got Cramps From Hell. Literally. I was hollering and moaning and groaning. So I took almost 2 Vicodin and passed out. The same thing happened Saturday afternoon, so I finally went to the ER myself. Yeah, they recognized me but I was yelling so much I didn't care.

Here's where the story gets real good.

They put me in fast track, because I guess cramps aren't enough for them to really be worried about. I was alright with that, I just wanted the pain to stop. So they come in, ask me what I'm allergic to (compazine) and start an IV. They tried my hands first, because my veins are always deep, and they hit a valve.

I don't know if that has ever happened to you - but let me tell you, that's a pain you don't want. Someone shoving a needle around in your hand, hitting nerves that aren't supposed to be hit, making your feet fly off the bed and making you yell like a dying cow. Pain. PAIN. I started crying and bawling like a baby. I have a slight fear of needles to begin with, and my worst fear had just come true. I wanted to kill someone.

With my hubby holding my hand and trying to soothe me, they try my other arm, this time in the arm, not the hand. They fiddle around in there for a bit and get the IV in. The nurse comes in with pain medication and my anti-nausea medicine.

Now, I'm allergic to compazine, it gives me - in short - anxiety attacks. SO the nurse comes in, and because by now I'm terrified of anything this woman is going to do, I ask her if she has the right medicine. She says, yeah - it's compazine.

WHAT? I was only one short nanosecond away from ripping the needle out of her hand and kicking her in the nuts. If she had 'em. Then she laughs and says she's kidding. Um, ok. Do you see me laughing? I'm crying and hyperventilating and you want to crack jokes about a medicine I'm allergic to? I almost killed her. With my bare hands.

The rest of the visit was ok. I guess. I was still in some pain, and the nurse comes back in and asks me if I'm in pain, and I say yes - to which she replies, "You'll be in some pain, it doesn't all go away", and I'm like what the HELL?!?!? Why did you ask me to begin with - and I was under the impression that I had a right to pain management. Get me out of here, I'll go overdose on aspirin or something.

Then they send me to ultrasound, stick what looks like a very long dildo up my hoo-ha and ram it into all my innards. Fun, fun, fun. Then we go back and I get a pelvic exam, hoo boy howdy. I was all kinds of excited by then. Finally they tell me everything's normal, it's just hormones and I get to go home.

The doctor then proceeds to tell me to take Ibuprofen. I was like, come again? I came in here on heavy duty narcotics and you want me to go home with over the counter ibuprofen? Did you even go to medical school or did you get one of them there online degrees? Why do all the doctors want to give you ibuprofen?

Having a baby?

Take some Ibuprofen!

Broke an  arm?

Take some Ibuprofen!

Take some Ibuprofen!

I hate Ibuprofen. So we just left. And of course I was in pain agian last night, and did the Ibuprofen do anything? Nope. I guess I should be the doctor. Anyway, I'm home now - still coughing, still having pain, but I have my trusty Ibuprofen. I guess it's a good thing I have some Vicodin left over form last time. We'll see.


Waisting Time said...

Yikes! It all sounds horrible and I have unfortunately experienced the ultrasound that you so amazingly describe so can identify with that one little unpleasant piece.

Tricia said...

I dunno what's up with that sticking-and-then-digging bullshit they do with needles now. The last time I went to give blood, I left looking like I fell down a couple flights of stairs because of all the bruises. How 'bout you find a damn vein first, dumbshit? Ugh. I don't get it.

Sorry you had to go through all that shit. They could have at least hooked you up with some good drugs, you know? :P

lori said...

oh, wow - I'm just cringing reading this. What an ordeal for you both. Hope you and your brother are doing better soon.

Crystal Roberts said...

Almost as bad as the doc saying "eat a cookie and call me in the morning" At least you would get some enjoyment from the cookie : )

Big Auntie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your poor ho-ha and related organs! I HATE ibuprophen cause it gives me the trots something horrible. Just what you need when you are hemmoraging, yes?

Try borage oil (god, I sound like my mother). Sounds weird but it really works. Get 100% borage oil - sometime they like to mix other fish oils, etc. in with it - which is fine - but 100% is the most effective. You can find it pretty cheap at health food stores and even Wal-Mart usually has it. If you can't get borage, evening primrose oil is a good 2nd. It totally cuts into those cramps and will even reduce your flow!

I have a friend who is a total fuss-budget (no one on the planet suffers like she does, or so she says) and even she had to admit that it worked.

I hope your brother is feeling better - I can relate to the kidney stones. I spent $32k in 30 days on one the size of a nickel. Neat!

Get better soon!!

Aylilth said...

How aweful!!!

Sounds like when they stick needles in me as well, they can never find my veins.

I've also had that ultra sound done as well..... but I was preggers at the time and want to know why I had to have the internal one.

I was told because I was so "big" it was hard for them to see bubs the normal way........

Traci said...

What an ordeal!! For both of you! Ug!!

Lesia said...

Yuk what a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day you had...

anne h said...

My fave medicine in the whole wide world is compazine.
Second only to Advil!
Hope you are soon on the mend!

Results Not Typical Girl said...

nuffin cures pain like cutting a bitch. jus' sayin'.

Deb said...

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible ER experience. No one should ever dig around hunting for a vein. They can do horrible nerve damage that way. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

Katie J said...

I hate the vampires that can't poke a needle properly! Ughh - sorry you had to endure all that crap.

I too feel for your brother. Kidney stones are awful! I have heard the pain compares to childbirth. NO fun!

Hope you get to enjoy some part of the weekend. Take good care of yourself.

Happy Fun Pants said...

So how are you now???

SG said...

hahhahahhhaaaaa!!! man! i neeeeded a good laugh. thanks!