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6/8/10

Welcome, Brunhilda

So, by now everyone's pretty much figured out that I had a bad day yesterday.

Flabby McGee's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Except that the end of it turned out quite well. I ate great yesterday, Turkey sandwiches, yogurt, strawberries, cucumbers...Yum. I'm getting hungry thinking about it. Anyway - I was proud of myself for getting back on track there.
Then my gym buddy told me she couldn't go to the gym. (she has 5 children- 'nuff said.) I was disappointed, and started getting depressed.

Then I told myself to knock it the heck off. So I got up, and went to the gym.

All by myself.

So, I'm proud of me. I am petrified of gyms, and I'm scared of what others might say. It's hard enough for me to get to the gym with my best friend, much less alone. But I realized yesterday that I need to be there, probably more so than anyone else. I realized that that makes me stronger than most - to admit what I need to fix, and fix it. I also realized that no one knows who I am or why I'm there.

For all they know -

I could be Brunhilda, the heavyweight division wrestling champion of Germany.


I could be making $100 an hour testing gyms to see if they're good enough for fat people.

I could be undergoing a sex change operation and bulking up for the future.


I could be a detective staking out a drug running ring at my local gym.

I could be a famous actor in a fat suit trying to do research for my latest film.

I could be a Biggest Loser candidate, getting ready to work out 8 hours a day.

I realized that they don't know me, they don't know who I am, and they especially don't know what I've achieved.

They see a fat girl on a treadmill,

I see a girl who's lost 13 pounds.
I see a girl who couldn't walk up the stairs, but now can go 2 miles on an elliptical.
I see a girl who's conquered her eating problems.
I see a girl who is brutally honest with herself.
I see a girl who is strong - inside and out.

I felt awesome. So, I guess it wasn't a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day after all.

22 comments:

Angela Pea said...

Yeah!!! You GO!!

LURVE the literary reference...that was my Teen Son#2's favorite book when he was little...and he had a whole lot of those THNGVBD's when he was younger!

Anonymous said...

1 little nitpicky thing- you don't have to be on the road to genital reassignment surgery in order to transition physically.

I know you probably didn't mean anything by it, but still...


Just saying.

karen said...

And you don't have to be big to be a German wrestli .... oh, forget it. I ADORE you and this post made me smile big big smiles!!!

And this is yet another reason why I'm not allowing anonymous commenters :)

Aylilth said...

HAHA!!!

Brilliant post!!!

Forget Anon they obviously didn't get the joke.

But I too was feeling the same way when I 1st started the gym. What will they think?? The stares.

But in the end I needed it for me and not them. Now I always go by myself, put my tunes on and do my thing.

I walk out head held high and dripping in sweat....great feeling.

*high five*
you did awesome!!!

Karen@WaistingTime said...

Good for you! It is too easy to focus on the negative, but there is so much positive here.

Kristina said...

I LOVE this post! Good for you kicking your own butt and getting to the gym........and for only seeing a strong, determined woman! LOVE the pics by the way! lol

RescuingLisa said...

Whooo hooo! awesome attitude! Ain't no shame in going to the gym alone - I love this post!

Emily said...

Way to go! I love the personal pep talk. I'm going to remember that. I find myself frowning a lot at the gym, trying to look tough. I doubt anyone is convinced. Looking sweaty is intimidating enough, right? You go, girl!

Flabby McGee said...

Again, you guys rock. And anonymous con say what he/she wants - they're the ones nitpicking my awesome pep talk post - and I'm the one sweating my butt of in the gym. Plus anyone who can't even sign a name to a comment needs a life and some balls. Besides, I went to the gym alone - I can handle anything, right? :) Thanks everyone - you really make my day!!!

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

You are awesome. Yes. You are.

Way to be on the gym. You ARE brave. Keep it up girl. You go!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

I LOVED reading this post. You go girl! I totally know how you feel about going to the gym... my mind has been there. And 2 miles on the elliptical is super awesome!!!!! I just barely got 5 minutes in last night before I was wasted. Good for you!
~Margene
http://believingitspossible.blogspot.com/

(Note - I paste my blog address not to advertise but because it's not linked to my profile and some people have had a hard time finding it)

Once Upon A Dieter said...

Oh,man, that's funny, "Brunhilds"!!

I'm so glad you went. By yourself. I've always gone to gyms(when I went) and the Pilates studio by myself. I never had an exercise buddy. Wish I did. Wish hubby'd go. But I need to go, alone or with someone. Hurray to you!

Crystal Roberts said...

One word, HILARIOUS!1 I laaughed and laughed, so did the hubby. Absolutely amazing love it love it! And good job on your milestone, going by yourself!

4athomej said...

I see a girl that gets knocked down...then picks herself back up and gets back on track...:D

karen said...

Anyone else now have that "Tubthumping" song stuck in their head?
You know the one ...
"I get knocked down - but I get up again - you're never gonna keep me down"
NOW do you have it stuck in your head? ;)

Flabby McGee said...

Ok, thaaaaaanks a lot....
I get knocked down....but I get up again...*hums*

But I loved that comment :) Cuz that's exactly what I see!!!

Mad Woman said...

And that, my dear, is what they call a Non Scale Victory (NSV)! That knowledge of yourself is key. Well done!

Joy said...

Loved this post!!! So funny. Yeah I used to worry about what people think at the gym. The other day, I was working out with my trainer. Finally she said, "Joy, you think you should fix your hair?" I look in the mirror and it was standing on end. Looked like I got shocked. I said, "No, I don't care what they think". She just laughed at me. Well I was a sweaty mess anyway, I did not really see the point of fixing my hair. Enough said!! You go, do what you have to do!! Hugs!!!

Happy Fun Pants said...

You're exactly 100% right.

And another thing I noticed?

Most people don't care who or what you are in the gym...unless you forgot your deodorant that day.

Then they care. Trust me.

Susanlucy said...

Dont mess with Brunhilda!! love it...am soooo getting my own gym alter ego to help me get through the gym door. Tar very much :)

Hi! I'm Shari Root said...

Way to go, girl!! I loved it :) Humor and great writing seem to be a family trait. Thank you for the great laugh =)

Keep celebrating your successes.........and the winning attitude!

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see" ----Henry David Thoreau

You're seeing what counts - and eventually that will show on the outside for others to see, too.

Curvy Jones said...

Popping in from Healthy You. How awesome that you made it to the gym... ALONE! Great for you... the work is never not worth it!