Scales and Weigh-In's and Cake, Oh My!

It's been an interesting week. Feels longer than normal. The kind of week where you have 17 thousand things happen, and it feels like a month instead of a week.

First I had my son's B-day party, which was awesome, but we had cake. I love cake. Then on Monday, my in-laws had us over for our anniversary celebration - and we had 2 cakes, count 'em, 2. One for my son to celebrate his b-day, and a ginormous ice cream cake. I still have said ice cream cake in my freezer, calling my name daily. It's hard to ignore. But then I saw this picture of me and my huge gut - so that's some good motivation to stay away from the evil ice cream cake.

Then my bank messes up. Cost me $120. I don't have 120 to waste on overdraft fees that aren't my fault because I have plenty of money in my savings account. Which was being saved for my family reunion in SC this summer - but now belongs to my crappy, money grubbing, lying, retard bank. Time to switch banks.

So I got 2 blog awards this week. I was like - woah - 2! (2 cakes, 2 awards? Hmm....mebbe I need more cake.) In one week. Very cool. Now I feel super speshul, and like I'm awesome. Which I am. Super speshul. And awesome.

So, thanks to Sylvia at Big Steps 2 Take for this one:

 And to Blue at The Missing Piece for this one:

 I really appreciate it, you two made my day day yesterday - especially after the bank fiasco.

And last, but not least - my weigh in. Now, I had one of those weeks where you feel that there is no way the scale will budge an inch. I felt like no matter how much I exercised, and no matter how little I ate, I would still gain weight. Logic does not apply to a fat person's brain. I think we are so used to seeing that scale stuck in the high numbers, that our brains do not compute when we see those numbers go down. I feel like, somehow, my scale is playing a joke on me - and tomorrow I'll be right back where I started. I hear a lot of stories about how when people lose large amounts of weight, they don't really process that fact for a long time. I never believed them - I've always thought "pfft, when I'm thin, I'll have no trouble knowing that I'm skinny, finally". Well, now I believe those stories. I can't process the fact that I've actually lost weight. I'm in shock.

Yeah, you're seeing correctly - 311. (LOL, I just realized my post last week says 212, instead of 312 - yeah, I wish.) Anyway, 311. Me? really? I've lost 9 pounds total? Why? How is that possible?

I guess the equation of gym + eating better - fatty foods = weight loss, it's not exactly making sense to me. Then again, I never was good at math.

Well, there you have it, my week in a nutshell, my loss of 1.6 pounds, and all the cake I could (but didn't) eat.

Weigh In Wednesday

What a long, irritating week. I had family events, movies to go to, and a birthday to attend. Doesn't sound too horrible, right?

You'd be totally wrong. As someone who is big, hungry and trying to lose weight, this week sucked. I had to contend with birthday cake, nachos and cheese, candy, Rainbow Nerds, pizza, chicken wings and buttery popcorn. And I ate every single one of them. Sometimes twice. Sometimes twice with extra cheese. I was hungry, crampy, tired, cranky and hungry some more. Thanks to mother nature and her impeccable timing, I also had food cravings you wouldn't believe. I cried, begged my husband to go get me chocolate, stomped, yelled and generally acted like an uncontrollable child.

I finally got ahold of myself yesterday, weighed myself this morning and counted up my minutes I exercised. So here are my stats -

I went from 214.00 to 212.6, so that's a loss of  1.4 pounds, I think. (math is not my area of expertise). I also went to the gym, and exercised about 380 minutes this week.

I wasn't too happy. I mean 1.4 pounds? Are you kidding? I just started this thing, and I should be dropping weight. Going from zero exercise to 380 minutes a week??? What is wrong with me?

But then I had an epiphany. I lost 1.4 pounds, while eating nachos with cheese and extra cheese (twice) and pizza. That in itself is no small miracle. In my book, that's the most weight loss I've ever had. I ate normally and lost weight! I must still be doing something right.

Now, I'm not going to continue down that road. I'm back to my regular eating habits, veggies, no cheese, no fat. Being careful. I plan on working harder. I'm not giving up.

But I'm still proud of me.

Weighing In....

Sooooo.... My Long Hot Active Summer has begun.

Cha. Yeah. Now for the gritty details....drum roll please...

BooYAH. That, I believe, is a difference of 4.2 pounds since my LHAS weigh in.

And  a SIX pound difference from the start of my weight loss journey. I can do this.

This is how I feel right now!

I think some days I think that, no matter how much I exercise or work out - I still won't lose. It's like I feel permanently fat. Plus, I haven't actually lost weight in about 3 years. This is amazing, and so, so....uplifting! I"m very excited for what this summer will bring.

I can change me. I can do this.


I am also throwing this in Diminishing Lucy's fat to fit blog hop - killing 2 birds with one stone!

LHAS

Ok, here it is.

Wait a minute, I gotta psych myself up for this. (inhale, exhale) Let's do this.

My pics. My very first, holy crap how did I get so fat, pictures of my self. I'm doing this for My Long Hot Active Summer Challenge, from here on out known as LHAS, because I'm not typing all that every time I weight in.

I'm procrastinating.

Here's my front,

My side, 

And my scale pic.

Yeah, I messed with that one a little, because my feet are so ugly. U.L.G.Y. (and I ain't got no alibi..)

So, this is the pinnacle of braveness for me. My husband was taking these, and I was making jokes about being fat - and my son pipes up "you're not fat mommy!". He's 9, I wish the world saw me through his eyes!

And there you have it, me in all my natural glory - minus Spanx and gut suckers of any kind. Hopefully by the end of this summer I'll see a real difference.

Blah.

Ahhh. After a whole weekend of excuses and treating myself (I can have some fun dip - it's Mother's Day!) I am off to the gym, and then I'm going to buy myself a scale. My very own "get your fat butt off the couch" motivational tool. It could become the next plant stand, or my son's new favorite toy instead, but I prefer to remain optimistic. I've gotten 6 hours of (broken) sleep on a couch. but I am going to the gym.

I need to work out more then a few times a week. I've entered into a contest? competition? over at Long Hot Active Summer, and I must lose a decent amount of weight. I don't care if I win (though that would be cool) but I have to at least lose something, or I'll always be the little engine who couldn't. So there you have it, I'll be back with my scale, and some pics. (hooray.)