1. Taking Showers
I do. I'm not dirty, I'm not gross - I just hate trying to wash my back. And my ginormous thighs. I can't even reach my shoulder blades, and I don't like bending over to wash my feet. I just don't. It's freaking exhausting.
2. Walking
Because it's work. Duh. I sweat, I wheeze, and I don't like it.
3. Stairs.
My lord. Stairs. The bane of my existence. They make my knees hurt and my legs ache. Every house in America should have an elevator. But then we'd all be fat, and then what would Hollywood do? Jeez. Can't make everyone happy...
4. Getting into a boat.
Have you ever tried it - while weighing 300 pounds? No? Go try it, then after you've dried off - you can blog about it too.
5. Amusement Parks.
I don't fit. Enough said.
6. Sitting in a booth.
Have you ever found a plus size booth? I didn't think so.
7. Sitting on the floor.
Because, let's face it - then I have to get back up.
8. Jumping or Running
I'm not sure if this is because I'm fat or my boobs are flippin' huge. Let me reassure you, it totally is possible to give yourself a black eye. With your boob. Really.
9. Pictures
They say the camera adds 10 pounds. It doesn't. It adds a hundred and fifty of them. I don't really look this large. Really.
10. Sex
Ok, I lied. I like sex as much as the next girl. But moving the belly flap out of the way to do it? Sad. Just sad.
That's just the truth folks, with a little dash of sarcastic humor thrown in. Enjoy.
