Back To The Drawing Board

Hrmm. Dilemma. I don't think I'm going to totally move after all. It's just to hard and I'm being lazy. I'll just post where I feel like it, when I feel like it. End of story.

So, what's up with me? Well, I'm having major emotional issues. They're weird ones - but I'm a weird one, so I guess it makes sense. I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 months now and I'm very angry with myself. I feel like everything I spent so much time working on just got flushed down the toilet. I didn't gain too much weight back, about 7 pounds I think. I'm at 309. Which is a heck of a lot better than 320. But still...

Here's what went down. I was going to the gym with my bestest friend in the whole world. Then her husband, who's a pastor, got a church in Maryland. We lived in NY. You can do the math. So, I kinda gave up because I didn't have my gym buddy anymore. But then, I'm all like "well - that's a chicken crap way to be, Lorikate." and I feel like I should be going.

And I should be.

But every time I think about going without her, I want to cry. I know it's strange, but she was my best friend soul mate. And those don't come along that often. So I don't think I've emotionally dealt with her moving away. I feel like a silly teenager, but I really relied on her friendship. We're still friends, but it's not the same. It just ain't.

So I think the plan is to suck it up, grab the iPod and go back to the gym. Tomorrow. Hubby's not working or in school, so I have the day to do that if I want. I have to get through this.

Huh, who'd a thunk going to the gym was such an emotional battle. But it is, I'll let you know how it works out.

Wish me luck.


MB said...

I'm sorry you lost your gym buddy but I'm sure she would want you to continue on your journey to get healthy. You can still support each other long distance. You can challenge each other and compare notes on who did what at the gym but you need to charge that iPod and get to it. Good luck!

Crystal Roberts said...

Awwww this breaks my heart! I really hope you do go to the gym and I miss you so much!!! I wish we didn't live so far apart too, I just hope you can visit soon! HUGS!!!!!

Toni said...

you can do it LoriKate - just hitch up your britches, charge that ipod, and with chin up go on in - i know what it's like to be alone so i do feel for ya - love ya lots

"D" said...

the most important time to go is especially when you don't feel like it... tell yourself you're going and you'll go! hehe You'll feel so much better afterward but most importantly remember not to eat crap or your workouts will be for nothing :( you can DO IT.

fatty blogsticks said...

fm, you're baaack. aw, i'm sorry your friend moved :-( sending you i-will-go-to-the-gym vibes. it will get easier... and you need to plan some trips!

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