Oh, my Spanx. This love of mine,
That keeps my belly flap in line.
A marvel of science, so true, so fair,
You have replaced my underwear.
In you my gut I cinch and stuff,
with you I can feel thin enough.
I have 3 pairs, black, tan, and white,
that help me feel small and tight.
You give me wedgies, yes, it's true,
and pinch my flab and stomach too.
My camel toe, on you I blame,
I have to dig you out, with shame.
My inner organs you rearrange,
and people seem to find it strange,
when I unroll and pull you up,
and tuck you under my large bra cup.
I'll take a shower and put you on,
though the struggle always goes so long.
Since if I put you on while I am wet,
I end up tired and out of breath.
Come to think of it, I see,
you really aren't that good for me.
So I'll say so long to you right here,
and go back to my underwear.
4 comments:
Oh my goodness gracious. Too damn funny! I have one pair of spanx, but they have died of boredom at the bottom of my underwear pile. Great poem! Go to my blog http://results-not-typical-girl.com and do a search for Easter and you can see my own attempt at channeling my amateur poetic voice, ha!
Amen sistah! Thanks for the giggles! :) - Kirsten
bauwahahahaha! camel toe. Ya, underwear rock.
Hilarious!
But...the...split crotch!
It is so worth it! Especially when wearing a gown.
Have you ever worn the kind that make you take them down to go pee? I swear, the stall shrinks the moment my body expands out of them. Like those biscuits in a can. Ka-BOOM.
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