Coming Out Of The Big, Fat Closet

Right about now, after reading this title, I have some friends and family members going:

Say what?

But I'm not talking about that closet. I'm talking about coming out and stating that I'm fat. Yes, you heard me, fat.

Some people don't like fat people - simply because they're fat. Others like fat people, they just don't like talking about it. And still others claim to like us, but they certainly don't want to look at us.

I've been thinking about this post for a while, ever since I started trying to lose weight. My camera wasn't working, and I really wanted to put some pictures up here for everyone to see. So, while I had my mom with me on mothers day - I asked her to take some pictures of me for my blog. She did, but the look on her face was one of pity. She looked at my big, fat stomach and looked like she wanted to cry, gave me a little frown and what I like to call the puppy dog eyes. The "Oh, I'm so sorry that you're so pathetically fat honey" look. Later on, she was trying to email them for me, and they wouldn't come through. So I told her to slap 'em up on facebook, and I'd copy them, then tell her when to take them down. She asked me "are you sure" - as in " why would you want to let people see you like that"?

(In defense of you mom, cuz I know you're gonna read this - I love you and know you just have my best interests at heart. But don't give me the look if I ask you to take pictures, ok?)

And that's when it hit me. Yes, I'm fat. I'm overweight - but why am I so ashamed of it? I mean, why am I going to hide all the pictures, why post the picture of me at the "right angle" and hide the tummy and the big ole behind? Granted I'm not going to wear a thong and show my cellulite to the world - but I'm not going to hide form the full body shot, post the face shot and sit and pretend I look that good all the way down to my toes. It's not fair to myself to pretend I'm something I'm not. I am me, and I'm not going to be ashamed of myself just because I carry some extra weight. My fat is not who I am, it's just what's on me. I was reading logs and came across Dagny's article, entitled 'Considering Oprah and "Women, Food, and God"'... and she was writing about just that sort of thing, not letting your weight define who you are. It was an awesome post - I encourage you to read it.

The bottom line is though -

Here I am, fat and all - if you don't like it, don't look. 

That's it. I'm fat, and now I'm out of the big, fat closet.